Love Wins Big in Small Town Holly’s First Pride
(Crystal A. Proxmire, July 9, 2021)
Holly, MI – Though pictures show Holly’s first Pride as a sea of smiling faces with waves of rainbow clothes and flags, there was also a layer of pain, sadness, and fear that connected those in the room who understood that being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer is not easy in spite of the progress of the world.
Parents still disown their gay children. Landlords still turn away sames-ex couples, making it harder to find housing. People still live in fear because they can be fired for who they love or how much they stray from stereotypical gender roles. Kids – and adults – face name-calling, harassment, and violence. Fear of being themselves, or even shame, takes a psychological toll. And in spite of legalized same sex marriage and the wave of LGBTQ people in the public eye, there is still a long way to go for those who want to simply feel accepted as the human beings they are.
So while organizers celebrated diversity, they also honored this struggle and shared their stories.
“Let me talk to you about bears,” said Chrissandra Padilla.
Padilla is the Director of Early Childhood Development at Holly Area Schools, as well as one of the woman offering “free mom hugs” at the event. Free mom hugs is a trend at Pride events so those who can’t come out to their parents, or who feel alienated from them, can still know they are loved. Padilla was one of several speakers at the event. She explained that when you see a bear, you want to run or get help.
“Hopefully someone is there to get you out of that situation,” she said. “But imagine the bear is always there.”
In her story, the bear is the fear of being found out and the weight of being rejected. It’s the feeling of being less than human when families and societies tell LGBTQ people they are worth less because of who they love. Padilla spoke of “Adverse Childhood Experiences,” a psychological term that identifies situations in youth that cause long term harm. ACEs correlate with health problems, stress, and increased risk of substance abuse, mental health issues, and suicide.
“I grew up with a bear. All my childhood involved a bear,” she said. “There are people like us who want to get rid of the bear. We want to quiet the bear. That’s why we give free mom hugs. That’s why we want to be where you are and support you where you are. We want to provide you a safe space where there is no bear.”
As an educator and a parent, Padilla is known in the community as someone kids can count on. “The great part of being part of this group of moms is I get to provide support to people outside my household, people whose experiences were like may, maybe people who don’t have supportive homes.”
While Pride events provide a fun, safe place for people to be themselves and find other open-minded people, being LGBTQ friendly outside of such events can make a difference in people’s lives.
Nick Popadich is a teacher at Grand Blanc Schools who was the target of online bullying when someone in the community posted his picture in an online forum questioning if he was a teacher in the district and if he was setting a good example. The picture was from his Facebook page and showed him donning blue lipstick, flamboyant sunglasses, and a nose ring. Hundreds of people commented on the post showing support.
He told the young people in the audience that he knows how it feels to be the target of online bullying, which is unfortunately a common experience for young people around the world. “What I was happy to see happen was just so many come forward to support me,” Popadich said. “I would have been enough for like 5, 10 people to come. I think about myself. If I saw what happened, once I saw 20 comments I might be like ‘well, the guy gets it. People are okay with it. It’s cool. But like 200 comments. So I just think about those people and what they’re doing for their kids. The message they’re sending to their kids not to be bystanders. To make sure you’re on the side of justice, of what’s right. Even if a lot of people have already done it. You stand too for them.”
Holly Pride was organized by the group Holly ACTS, which stands for Action,Community Transformation, Solidarity. The group has been working to engage progressives in the community by recruiting candidates for local office, as well as doing community service projects like supporting a food pantry at the Holly Township Library, collecting feminine products for local shelters and schools, and raising money for a women’s memorial at Waterworks Park.
Ryan Delaney is a Holly Village Councilperson who ran with encouragement from the group. He spoke at the rally wearing a “proud ally” shirt, speaking as an official, a father, a teacher, and someone with a religious background. “As a person of faith, I believe God saw all he created, and it was very good. That every lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender person is very good.”
The event had been scheduled to take place at Crapo Park in Downtown Holly, but storms prompted some last minute changes of plans. Cari Cucksey, owner of the Holly Vault and the event venue 111 College, offered up space at the last minute. Jerome Raska and Robbin Yelverton, who own the flower shop Blumz Holly, also stepped in to help make the space look lovely for the event, with rainbow decorations and flowers. They also donated rainbow-dyed roses for the attendees.
“We were very happy they needed an indoor space and we were honored to host it,” Cucksey said. “We would like to make it an annual event! The LGBTQ community is important and we certainly are allies! We have a trans child so spreading awareness and acceptance is important to us. Everyone deserves a safe space and place to gather.”
The event welcomed nearly 100 people into the space, with some traveling from other cities just to be there. One young person on stage said that her family was supportive of her being a lesbian, and that everyone in her schools knows and she’s only had a few people judge, but that “it’s weird to see all of these people who feel the same way as me and just people who recognize that its not different than any other type of love.”
Organizers say this will likely be an annual event. Those who want to learn more about Holly ACTS can find them on Facebook.