Pride in the Park Gives 
Transgender People a Chance to Share their Stories
(Crystal A. Proxmire, Aug. 10, 2015)
Transgender people from around Michigan and beyond were welcomed to Ferndale’s Geary Park on Saturday for the Annual Transgender Pride in the Park celebration. In the midst of the community potluck, surrounded by vendor and agency booths, transgender men and women shared their experiences…
Nicole
“Visibility is the most important thing to me right now. I spent so much of my life in seclusion, not wanting to be noticed. This year I began transitioning and part of that is being proud of being myself,” said 36-year-old Nicole T. of Bay City.
For Nicole, the decision to transition was simple, but it was only a matter of timing. “You worry about what you will be losing. But you get to a point where you realize
if you don’t come out then you’re really loosing yourself.”
Nicole said she knew early on in life that she was a woman, but that like many other people she focused on trying to be masculine as her family and society expected. Now, expressing herself as Nicole, she finds it harder to find work. “I’m self-employed doing construction in homes,” she said. “It’s been hard. It’s hard to get people to trust a transgender person to do construction work.”
Two things she’s noticed are that people get confused between sexual orientation and gender identity, and that there is a stereotype that transgender people are mentally ill.
“In a lot of ways we may have higher intelligence because we are very observant and very 
creative, because we have to be,” Nicole said. “And we have thought processes that incorporate both genders. Trans people tend to have both intuitiveness and logic…. And we’ve had to do a lot of research to try and understand ourselves. Cis gender people are more likely to just accept their role, but transgender people need to figure out what that means to them personally.”
Being around other people who are transitioning helps Nicole stay positive. She is working with a group of transgender people and allies to start a community center for transgender people in the Bay City Area. “I find transitioning is easier if I am helping other people along too,” she said.
She also learned that conquering her fear was not nearly as bad as she thought it would be. “I found that I was more confident and people were okay, [they were] happy for me. A lot of our 
fears are imaginary. We are our own biggest critics no matter what we’re doing. So if you know this is who you are, then just do it.”
Dan, Charlie and Liam
FTM Detroit is about brotherhood. “We’re all there for each other,” said Dan Herrle one of the founding members of FTM Detroit. “It’s very rewarding on a personal level to get to meet these guys and support each other. We’re there for each other, we can give referrals to doctors, answer questions, celebrate milestones.”
Herrle manned the FTM Detroit booth at Transgender Pride in the Park with Charlie Gall and Liam Vella. Their trans-man themed shirts, including one with an x made of testosterone needles, are a popular item that helps them raise money for their special projects.
“We have a support group at Affirmations two times a month,” Vella said. “But we have a lot 
more than that. We go to events like this one. We do social stuff, pot lucks. We’re at the end of summer now so we’re doing an event with an artist that’s going to do spray paint art on school supplies and we’re going to donate school supplies to Ruth Ellis Center.”
Social events tend to draw 50-100 people including FTMs and allies.
“It’s different for a transguy,” Herrle said. “I feel like I don’t have great access to queer spaces because I pass. “This gives me a community of people who understand.”
Gall added “It’s nice to not feel like the only person who is educating everyone.”
Learn more about FTM Detroit at https://www.facebook.com/FtMDetroit
Phyllis R.
Phyllis is a former Army Ranger with a wife and a couple of adult children. The word “cross 
dresser” rolled off her tongue more naturally than “transgender” did as she talked about her experiences as Phyllis, though she is living full time as her feminine self.
“I’m 68 years old. I guess I started transitioning a little late in life,” she said.
With the children grown up and being retired, Phyllis finally had a chance to be herself, but not without a cost.
“We’ve been married 42 years. I still love her. But we had an issue two years ago and I told her this is what I need to do,” Phyllis said.
She started wearing dresses and make up, going to support groups, and beginning the transitioning process.
“My kids still love me, but they don’t like to see it when I dress like this. My wife, she drew the line when I wanted to wear a negligee to bed. She didn’t want me around so I moved into another room. And it’s okay. We’re working on things.”
“She’s a good person. Religious. I know it’s hard for her. But marriage in general is about overcoming problems. 
She’s doing the best she can,” she said. “You have to give people space and time, and not pressure them. She comes around a little bit at a time.”
With a brightened face Phyllis added “This is her dress she let me borrow.” She said her wife makes efforts, like sharing clothes or giving her fashionable presents like jewelry or perfume.
“It is a cost to transition, but it is absolutely worth it. I feel complete when I’m Phyllis.”
Amber and Dayna
Amber Bice has been coming to Transgender Pride in the Park since it was a one-picnic table-gathering five years ago. Her job is to keep the burgers and hot dogs cooking on the grill. This year is a special one though. Her cookout is more complete with the addition of someone new: Dayna Marie.
Marie moved to Michigan from Indianapolis just the day before the potluck, ready for a fresh start living in a place where she could be herself. She’s hoping Port Huron will be it. Bice has 
been living as Amber for over ten years.
They have already had their first disagreement. The topic of Caitlyn Jenner, a famous person who recently came out as transitioning, was probably inevitable. “I think she’s doing a great thing, living life the way she wants to. Good for her,” Bice said. “We need people to be in the public and to be role models.”
But Marie has mixed feelings. “It’s not realistic. I think she’s brave for doing it, but her experience is not what most transgender people experience. She’s got all this money and support. No one has resources like that. It’s a lot harder for other people and this makes it seem easy.”
Along with some good conversation, Transgender Pride in the Parks is about “lots of friends, mingle with other people,” Bice said. “I love to cook and I love to make people smile.”
The Activists and the Allies
Though Transgender Pride in the Park is mainly a social activity, there are plenty of conversations about politics and activism. Transgender Michigan, Gender Identity Network Alliance, FTM Detroit, Equality Michigan and other groups were on hand to get people organized and educated about the issues that impact the transgender community.
“Our Victim Services Department deals with trans issues, like discrimination, legal issues, job issues, emotional issues, and the crime that impacts the transgender community,” said Equality Michigan Field Organizer Jennifer Judd. “Our big push right now is to modernize the Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act.”
Michelle Fox Phillips, Director of Gender Identity Network Alliance, spoke about the Queer Legal Project, a collaboration between several groups to improve access to LGBT-competent 
legal advice. “We’re doing a survey through Labor Day people can find on Facebook, and we’ll be doing seminars and legal clinics,” she said.
Elected officials from the City of Ferndale came to Transgender Pride in the Park to show support and honor the event with a proclamation, stating the city’s “deep belief in tolerance” and recognition of the prejudices facing the transgender community.
The spirit of celebration filled Geary Park with some estimating that over 500 people came and went through the course of the event. The feeling of joy and togetherness is one that participants carry with them as they scatter and head back to their day to day lives.
But the peace of a gathering in Ferndale is not the norm for many of the participants who face violence, discrimination, and other challenges. The next day the community was hit with the news that a 20-year-old transgender woman named Amber Monroe was found murdered in Detroit.
“We have no idea yet whether this attack was fueled by transphobia, but we do know that Amber’s murder is the 12th murder of a transgender woman in the United States this year, and the 10th murder of a transgender woman of color,” said Yvonne Siferd, Director of Victim Services for Equality Michigan.
To learn more about Amber Monroe’s death and other previous stories on the transgender community, see https://oaklandcounty115.com/?s=transgender.
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